Well hello to you all in cyber world! As I have heard it said before...this is the first day of the rest of my life. With this post being the first venture I have ever taken into the world of blog, I suppose I could give a little background of myself. I am not the first, nor will I be the last, to enter into this realm. I decided that life is short and my time in it should leave some mark that I was here...that I lived! Especially since I almost died at one time.
I am a woman that has survived many trials in the world, as have so many others. I was born and raised in California, which was not all that some may think it is cracked up to be. Too much violence, filth, greed, and vanity in my opinion. Of course, this is only my experience. I spent much of my remembered childhood in the San Francisco Bay area, in just about every city up and down the peninsula at one point or another. Lovely times there....such great people I knew, such horrible people as well. My life seemed to be be one storm of change and chaos growing up, moving, again and again and again. There were smooth calm periods in between, but it felt like brief respites before the next experience hit the front page of my life.
I have 2 sisters, and we were raised by a mother I love and miss dearly to this day. We lived in more places than I can count or even recall entirely. We went wherever the newest boyfriend or husband landed us, and stayed for a little longer in some spots when the relationship didn't last as our Mom regrouped I suppose. Alot of my years prior to my 8 year old self are just not remembered too well. What I do remember, I mostly wish I didn't. I have been told by my siblings that I was 'The Brat', a name that I still get reminded of to this day (though now it is said to me jokingly).
I think that my life was similar to any other middle child in any typical family living on the border of the wrong side of towns. Mom was always either working, or out with friends as I grew up...leaving my older sister to do much of our raising. She did a pretty good job of it until she became interested in boys, when she began to rebel and break away from being forced into the 'little mother' role for so long. I can't say I blame her for the behavior of those years....but glad they seem to be over.
Then came my turn of rebellion... I became a teenage unwed mother when I gave birth to my wonderful, beautiful, and sweet baby boy. More chaos ensued for so many years, as I followed the path that my mother took. I moved around too much, and dragged my poor son with me to just as many cities and places as my mother did with us. He had to witness some pretty awful relationships I had. He waited with friends while I got bandaged up from an experience with one man, remained patient with me as I packed up and moved over and over, usually in the heat of anger, from one relationship or another. He let me drag him to Oregon and, once we arrived, I was diagnosed with Stage 3 Cervical Cancer. He worried over me as I battled the Cervical Cancer, and as I went through the chemotherapy and radiation treatments (I spent more time in my bathroom getting intimately acquainted with, and praying to, the porcelain god). And at one point, I was told I had about a 20% chance to survive, though he didn't know that part at the time. This was a very difficult time, and once the treatments were finished, I found myself in full blown menopause and with a different idea of life. I decided I should settle down, to stop letting my anger get in the way of relationships, to have patience. I made a decision to get married and settle down. I thought I chose someone I believed to be responsible, intelligent, witty, and cared about me. He was for the first 3 years.... before his alcoholism reared it's ugly head. And boy was it ever hideous!
My son finally stepped away to remain at a distance when I foolishly remained in a marriage that tested my patience, strength, willpower, and finally my self esteem. When I finally discovered that I no longer needed to subject myself to such rigorous control and abuse by my husband, I finally found myself, and my self worth. I decided that enough was enough! When my (now ex) husband threatened to kill me, I finally stood strong for myself, had him arrested, and filed for the divorce. A restraining order goes a long way....especially when a girl has the best friends in the world... and a great support system that was just waiting for me to make the choice.
Today, my son (he is fully grown and I am proud to say that he everything a mother could ask for in a son...he is what a man should be) is back in my life with supportive love for his ole Mum! My friends are the best anyone could ever ask for, and I have found a good man that is everything I could have dreamed of. A man I can appreciate today, one that respects me and loves me as much I do him.
In fact, our relationship has been so wonderful....that I moved to the UK, London to be exact! It has been a long road, and there has already been much frustration with legal requirements and procedures, but we face it all together. So now.... I thought that I would chronicle our adventure thus far, the steps we continue to take, and the fun and excitement we are finding along the way. Each day brings something new, some bits of learning lessons, looking for and finding the silver lining of the clouds that come and go. In sharing this experience, I hope that others may be able to learn what works, what doesn't, and what blessing and joys are waiting around to be found in this strange and wonderful UK world.